Because...

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Cross-posted at IMAO

A Limited Time Offer

Once again, it's that time of year. That magical time when the days shorten and get colder and we all wish each other a happy non-denominational celebration of your choice.

This year, why not give the gift that keeps on taking?

Presenting, "Occupy Santa Claus Lane"...



Featuring more wonderful seasonal songs that never once mention what's-his-name's supposed birthday, sung by the #OWS Glee Club. Like:

Occupy Santa Claus Lane

Twinkles Bells

The Little Drummer Circle

Violent Night

Also featuring some other wonderful new carols sung by many prominent progressive guest artists, such as these:

ROD BLAGOJEVICH:
Blago the Big-Haired Jailbird

JOE BIDEN:
God Love Ya, You Merry Taliban!

JON CORZINE:
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Larceny

ERIC HOLDER & THE ATF CHOIR:
Gun-Walking in a Border Wonderland

ANTHONY WEINER:
#Hacked! The Pantsless Congressman Tweets

And much, much more!

Best of all, you can just charge the cost of your purchase to somebody else! Order now!

And don't forget to check out our past favorites:

The First Nobel (2009)

A Solstice Carol (2010)

Cross-Posted at IMAO

If You Flip Plan 9-9-9 Upside Down...

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Cross-posted at IMAO

#OES

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Cross-posted at IMAO.

Can You Dig It?

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Cross-posted at IMAO

Call Me Fishmeal...

Cross-posted at IMAO.

The Riddle of the Sphinxter...

All hail Phar-0, the true ruler of Egypt!

♫ Born in Honolulu... If you don't believe, then SCREW YOU! ♫

Cross-posted at IMAO

Rub-a-Dub-Dub...

Farewell, Bathtub Boy!

Cross-posted at IMAO

Been There, Mourned That... Got the Free T-Shirt!

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Cross-posted at IMAO

Operators Are Standing By...

A year in the making! Trillions of your tax dollars poured into its production! Now, at long last, it's finally here!

K-Don't Ask Don't-Tel Records shamelessly presents:



Featuring all new recordings by the original stars!

• Have Yourself A Merry Little Forgive The Expression - Nina Totenberg
• Go Don't Tell It On The Mountain/Deck The Halls Of Montezuma (aka "Don We Now Our Gay Apparel") - The United States Military "Do Ask - Do Tell!" Chorus
• The Twelve Days Of Lame Duck - Harry Reid & Nancy Pelosi
• Away With Your Mangers! - The ACLU Chorus with The CAIR Community Choir
• Do You See What We See?/Feelhiz Nobbyrod - The TSA Screeners Orchestra featuring Pat Downes
• A Ban On All The Toys - Monet Parnham & The Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors
• Wikileaks (On Internet Are) - Julian Assange
• I'm Dreaming Of A Tickle Fight Christmas - Eric Massa
• Guam, It Got Tipped Over By Our Soldiers - Hank Johnson
• O Come Back, O Come Back, Rahm Emanuel! - Barack Obama

And so much more... you have to buy it so you can find out what's in it!

Order now, and receive, as our special gift to you, that Alvin Greene action figure all the kiddies have been begging for!

Also available again for a limited time, last year's seasonal celebration album!

What are you waiting for??? Order now!

[Cross-posted at IMAO.]

Hard to Swallow...

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Cross-posted at IMAO.

2010

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Cross-posted at IMAO

Separated at Birth

Economically Clueless Connecticut Democrat Senate Candidate Dick Blumenthal

And Fire Marshall Bill

Brandin' 'Em Like Cattle

Well, howdy!!! Seems the folks over yonder at the DNC, or as they preferred to be called nowadays, "The Circle D" have come up with a fancy new brandin' logo to paste on all them mindless cattle what like to vote for 'em. Mercy sakes alive, they's even tellin' the cattle to pay to brand themselves for 'em! What a riot!

Trouble is tho', their new logo really ain't all that fancy at all. In fact, it seems downright bland if you ask me! But, seein' as how our good friend Harvey over yonder at the IMAO noticed a certain similarity 'tween their "fancy" new logo and Sir Thomas Crapper's great contribution to human civ'lization, I got to thinkin' maybe they'd like some help mooovin' that there merchandise they's a-sellin', so I whupped up a few bumper stickers fer 'em based on Harvey's much more eye-pleasin' redesign! Let me know what y'all think...











Ya know, one thing keeps on a-botherin' me about that new logo. It seems a might too familiar...



Wait a minute...



Almost there...



That's it!



I knew I'd seen it somewhere's before! Them Democrats is as sneaky as rattlesnakes and twice as slipp'ry! Best mind yourselves when wanderin' near 'em, I always say.

Cross-posted at IMAO.

Harry's Pet

Sen. Harry Reid on Delaware's Democratic Party U.S. Senate candidate Chris Coons, a self-described Marxist:

"I just think the world of him. He's my pet."



Well, at least he doesn't shed.

Cross-posted at IMAO.

To Boldly Go Where No One Ever Should!

Based on the works of Cloward and Piven.

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Coming in 2011, the sequel we've all been waiting for...

Charred Wreck - The Search for Sanity!

Cross-posted at IMAO

Giving the Dog a Bone

Greetings, my fellow Americans. As you have doubtlessly heard by now, my wife Tipper and I have decided to separate after 40 years of marriage. While understandably sad at this development, I also see it as an opportunity to explore a whole new world that I could not have freely explored before.

For one thing, I decided to get myself a new makeover! The trouble is, I have had it done several times already, but just can't decide which new look is best for me. So, I have decided to leave it up to you, my loyal subjects.

Please indicate in the comments which of my fabulous new hair-dos best reveals the real me, you know... the one that will have all the ladies just begging to release my second chakra!

Hugs and kisses,
Al

The classic:


The come-hither:


The off-the-leash look:


Cross-posted at IMAO

Well, You Have to Admit, She is Rather Marxish

Austin Powers testifies at the Kagan Confirmation Hearings:



BONUS!

Things that make you go hmmmm...

Markos "Daily Kos" Moulitsas:

Kos in drag:

Elena Kagan:

Hmmmm...

Cross-posted at IMAO

D'OH!

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Cross-posted at IMAO

President Kick-Ass!

Taking down names...

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Reference link

Cross-posted at IMAO

An Easy Mistake to Make

Turns out President Obama's seemingly out of touch reaction to the Gulf oil spill disaster was all the result of a simple misunderstanding.

When his advisers told him he needed to spend more time on the "Gulf Coast," he thought they said that he needed to spend more time on the "Golf Course."

Oops!

Plugging the Hole

As you all must know by now, America is in the midst of a disaster of massive proportions due to a giant hole that has, for far too long, been spewing toxic waste into our environment and wreaking further havoc on large sectors of our already severely wounded economy.

Until now, little if anything has been done to seal up this hole and contain the damage. In response to this crisis, Our Great Leader stepped forth and boldly demanded, in a manner befitting his vast leadership skills, that someone, "Plug the damn hole!"

And, at last, someone did...

Mission accomplished!

Cross-posted at IMAO

Results of New In-Depth Study Revealed: Bush May Actually Be Hitler!

In recognition of the 65th Anniversary of Hitler's "supposed" death...



















After careful research into the claims of many leftists that President George W. Bush is, in fact, a carbon copy of infamous German dictator Adolf Hitler, America is an Obamanation was more than a bit disturbed by the many eerie similarities we were able to uncover between the two world leaders.

Seeing as how George W. Bush was born into the world on July 6, 1946, a little over a year after the death of Adolf Hitler on April 30, 1945, we must agree it is quite possible that he is, in fact, the very reincarnation of history's greatest monster!

Consider the evidence:

HITLER...

Was a white male.



BUSH...

Is a white male.



HITLER...

Formed an alliance with Italy, Japan, Hungary, Romania and Bulgaria.



BUSH...

Ditto.



HITLER...

Considered the French adversarial and obnoxious.



BUSH...

Same here.



HITLER...

Had an aversion to the Poles.



BUSH...

Had an aversion to the polls.



HITLER...

One of history's most infamous bachelors.



BUSH...

Earned a bachelor's degree in history.



HITLER...

Had a funny little trademark mustache.



BUSH...

Has often sported a funny little "milk mustache".



HITLER...

Known as Der Führer amongst the Germans.



BUSH...

Known to cause a furor amongst liberals.



HITLER...

Had a FEMALE companion named Eva Braun. ("Braun" is German for "Brown".)



BUSH...

Had a FEMA Director named Michael "Brown".



HITLER...

His failure to learn from Napoleon's ill-fated Russian campaign cost Germany dearly in World War II.



BUSH...

His failure to return Napoleon Dynamite to Blockbuster Video on time cost him dearly in additional rental fees.



HITLER...

Once portrayed in a play within a movie by a character called L.S.D., who was played by actor Dick Shawn.



BUSH...

Once offered LSD while attending a play in college by two guys named Dick and Shawn.



HITLER...

Became infamous for the "Night of the Long Knives".



BUSH...

Became infamous for the "Night of the Long Island Iced Teas".



HITLER...

Sent millions to live and die in slavery and terrible squalor in concentration camps.



BUSH...

Played a game of concentration while at summer camp.



HITLER...

Unsuccessful in his attempts to conquer the English.



BUSH...

Unsuccessful in his attempts to conquer the English language.



HITLER...

Created the notorious SS and Gestapo.



BUSH...

Once filled up his Monte Carlo SS at a Gas Stop in Ohio.



HITLER...

During his reign of madness, he was responsible for the deaths of untold millions of innocent people.



BUSH...

During drinking binges in his youth, he was responsible for the deaths of untold millions of brain cells.



HITLER...

Hated the Jews.



BUSH...

Not all that fond of Barbra Streisand.

Coincidence? Perhaps, but perhaps not. In the end, you must decide for yourself...

******************************

[Originally posted on 3/15/06 at The Right Place.]