Why we should elect the O-man in 08

Chase Michaels again. From the lack of comments, I can see people are really soaking in my message.

I'm home from college for summer break, so I should have more time to sit around and read Time magazine's weekly stories on why we should elect my man president. Ready or not, here's my next logical reason.

Reason Number 3: The Fist Bump of Change

Have you seen the news?

No, they haven't cured cancer or invented an ecological lightbulb that doesn't require HAZMAT team if it busts. No, the war is not over and NO, they aren't re-releasing the Hulk movie, only making a less-suckier one.

If you have had access to any form of media, you would have seen that Barack "the fist" Obama fist-bumped his wife. It is major news. I mean, he couldn't be more cooler even if he had moonwalked across the stage and did a keg stand.

I fist-bump my frat brothers. Look at me, I'm just like the Democratic candidate for president!

Here are some other places I think the B-man can incorporate the fist-bump:

1. When he meets with that Iranian president guy, he can fist-bump him in the ass
2. I would like him to fist-bump Hillary in the face, twice
3. He could fist-bump the guitarist from Phish, that would be cool
4. If he could fist-bump the economy so I don't have to pay $50 to fill up my car, that'd be great.
5. Maybe he could get athletes to stop patting each other on the butt and get more to fist-bump.
   
6. He could come to Mike's party next week and fist-bump me in front of that girl that works the deli - the one with the brown hair, I'm pretty sure that would help me score.

So that is just another fist-bumping reason that you should vote for Obama.

Other Reasons
Reason #2: Susan Sarandon (sort of)
Reason #1: Obama girls are easy

Update: Megan Fox has not come out and announced that she's going to send me naked photos of herself if Obama gets elected. While I'll continue to hope she'll come around, here are a list of other's that I will accept in her place (Heidi Klum, Miley Cyrus, Mandy Moore, The Obama Girl and Elisha Cuthbert).