Obamassiah Walking on the Water

1. A piercing whine awakened Andrew Sullivan from the Best Dream Ever. In a testosterone- fueled rage, he snapped the beagle's neck and went back to sleep. But, alas, the dream was gone.

2. Believing in his own hype, the Obamassiah attempts to become the first man to walk across the Atlantic Ocean.

3. Another semi-evolved, and fatally inexperienced, life-form emerges from the primordial ooze.

4. "This is not the Red Sea that I knew."

5. "No, Mr Sullivan, I'm not drowning and I definitely don't need mouth-to-mouth."