Friday, August 8, 2008

Ten Reasons Barack Obama is Actually Proud of Amerikkka:

So... the Right-Wing Hate Mongers are all trying to make hay out of the fact that Our Messiah told some snot-nosed little 7-year-old brat that the reason he is running for President is that Amerikkka pretty much sucks and will continue to do so without Him leading us to the Promised Land.

So what? Amerikkka does suck! But before y'all get your pretty little panties in a bunch, the Obamessiah has a number of reasons to feel proud about Amerikkka, too. Here are a few examples...

  • 10) U-S-A --- it's easy to spell!
  • 9) Thanks to our public education system, it doesn't matter how many states there actually are, no one can find any of them on a map anyway!
  • 8) Open border with Mexico assures eventual death of evil white European culture within a decade or two tops.
  • 7) Home of the best damned arugula and tire gauges pictures of old, dead white dudes can buy!
  • 6) Where else could an entire party of far-left socialists pretend to be centrists to fool their constituents into electing and re-electing them year after year after year AND have a sycophantic press trip over themselves to help maintain the illusion?
  • 5) Our flags give off very little CO2 as they burn... thanks in no small part to the wonderful Red Chinese who manufacture them!
  • 4) Can't get enough of the angry gun-and-bible-clinging rubes in Jesusland to approve of your most progressive ideas? No problem! It's just a matter of time until their Black-Robed Overlords, whom we Democrats have so proudly entrenched on our courts, impose them through judicial fiat!
  • 3) Uhhhhh.... uhhhhhh.... it's... it's... uhhhhhh... now... now give me... give me a minute... uhhhhhh... just... just a minute... uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... what was that... that other thing... uhhhhhh... oh, yeah! It's TelePrompTers™!
  • 2) America may still be raping Mother Gaia, but at least we Democrats aren't allowing any more of those awful, awful oil wells to be drilled into her precious face!
  • 1) They may be foolish enough to actually elect HIM!

1 comment:

Hillbilly Willy said...

Willy has trouble knowing which way to point his prayer rug!

Good stuff

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