Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Election 2008 as 'Anchorman'

Barack Obama is the Ron Burgundy of politics; hopeless without a teleprompter, stuck on himself, a cardboard cutout propped up by people working behind the scenes.

Sarah Palin is Veronica Corningstone, a smart chick who threatens the male establishment. When SNL introduces her as “Tits McGee,” she calmly corrects, “I’m Sarah Palin. Tits McGee is on vacation.”

A debate between Palin and Obama might go something like this...

Sarah Palin: Mr. Obama, you are acting like a socialist.
B.H. Obama: I'm not a socialist, I am The One. I am a transformational figure.
Sarah Palin: You are not a transformational figure. You are a big fat joke.
B.H. Obama: I'm a man who uh... uh... uh... organized ... hold on a minute, let me think... uh... uh... organized the community and spread the ... uh... wealth around. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With ...uh ... uh... uh... a brain a third the size of us. It's science.
Sarah Palin: I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.
B.H. Obama: You are a ...uh ... uh... uh... smelly pirate hooker.
Sarah Palin: You look like an idiot.
B.H. Obama: Why don't you go back to your home on ... uh ... Whore Island?
Sarah Palin: Well, you have big floppy ears.
B.H. Obama: [insulted] What did you say?
Sarah Palin: I said... your ears... look stupid.

[an A-bomb mushroom cloud is reflected in Obama's eyes; the knock-down drag-out fight begins]

Joe Biden is, of course, Brick Tamland.

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