Coming November 6th...

Cross-posted at IMAO.

The Uncanny O-Men: Chapter One

Sometime in the not too distant past...

    "It was a dark and stormy night," typed a small white beagle perched atop a doghouse with an impossibly large slanted roof as a mysterious man in a sleek, futuristic-looking wheelchair ambled by him unnoticed, his rather egg-shaped bald head gleaming brightly in the morning sunlight.

    Dr. Charles Lawrence Xavier, VI, a prominent Georgetown University Law Professor and a member of an elite Washington think-tank, was out for his morning "roll" through a section of Georgetown heavily populated by an odd mixture of comic-page characters and young college students.

    "Good morning, Charles!" Shouted a sweet-looking little man with a huge head and a grin to match, waving politely as he retrieved the morning paper from his front porch, his little white dog wagging its tail in approval.

    "Good morning, Ziggy!" Charles hollered back in mock-plesantry, then muttered under his breath, "Riff-raff!"

    Dr. Xavier rambled on until he came to a construction site in Foggy Bottom. After carefully wheeling himself into position in the shadows behind the construction barriers, well out of the public eye, he pushed a series of buttons on the fancy control panel hidden in the armrest of his mobile chair. Slowly, quietly, he and his chair sank beneath the noisy city streets to the secret lair below.

    "Ah! At last, Charles! We've been waiting for you!" A hooded figure proclaimed as Charles drove himself into view. "The members of the board are waiting, and some of them are growing quite restless!"

    "Relax, my old friend," Replied a smirking Charles, confidently, "I shall soon put all of their fears --- and yours --- to rest."

    "You'd better! We have an awful lot of time, money and resources tied up in this plan of yours," the hooded man shot back, "and failure is not an option!"

    "Relax, Mr. S, I assure you it will work." Charles said as a sly chuckle escaped from him.

    At the end of a long corridor, a pair of sliding doors opened at the approach of the two men, and they proceeded inside to the well-lit bunker boardroom, where numerous robed and hooded men and women were seated around a huge, fancy wooden table, chattering amongst themselves. The mysterious Mr. S took his seat near the head of the table in a heavily ornate chair. Charles, meanwhile, wheeled himself into position at the very front of the room. A hush came over those gathered and all eyes focused on the man they had entrusted with their considerable combined power and wealth in the hope of finally achieving their dream of altering America... and the rest of the world... forever!

    "Gentlemen... and ladies... welcome to the future of America!" Dr. Charles Lawrence Xavier, VI, greeted the assembled group of mysterious and powerful benefactors gathered in the ultimate hidden bunker boardroom far below the unsuspecting streets of the most important city in the world.

    "Today we begin a journey that will bring about the kind of change we have long sought, but which has, thus far, eluded our grasp," the wheelchair-bound genius continued.

    "We've heard this same crap before!" Yelled out one of the many hooded figures at the large wooden table, "Why should we believe you?"

    "Why, indeed?" A smirking Charles responded. "Because, this time, the people will do whatever it is we say. After all, we're the smartest, most qualified people in all the world!"

    "Says who?" The skeptic shouted back.

    "Says everyone!" Charles told him, as the exchange continued back and forth...

    "Oh, really? Why exactly would they say that?"

    "Because, my friend, they truly believe it to be so."

    "And why, pray tell, is that?"

    "Because they have heard everyone else tell them that for as long as they can remember... which, luckily for us, is a relatively short period of time."

    "Why would everyone be saying such things?"

    "Because of all the awards and accolades we have won! Only geniuses win such awards from their peers."

    "What peers?"

    "Ourselves! We simply begin forming new groups whose purpose it is to hand out honors to the smartest people in the world! A great many of them! Of course, all of these groups will be controlled by us, and we will decide who get the awards, which of course will be ourselves and others like us, who will in turn award us with more accolades. Soon, we will also take over all of the other traditional groups which hand out such honors, and likewise influence them! Before too long, it all becomes one giant circle-jerk of awards and honors and titles being passed out amongst ourselves."

    "And what does all this accomplish?"

    "Isn't it obvious? The whole world, or at least most of it, will be convinced that we are the most intelligent people among them. The very best and brightest the world has to offer."

    "And no one will question this?"

    "Who would dare? All of the people will know who the smartest people are, it will be obvious. They are the ones with all of the fancy awards and honors and titles. Anyone who questions that will, as a rule, be unintelligent."

    "Who says so?"

    "We do! As a result, so does most everyone else. All of the smartest people say all of the people who disagree with them are morons. Whom are you going to agree with? The smartest people, which makes you smart, too... or the morons, which tells everyone how very, very stupid you must be?"

    "Hmmm. I think I like where this is going! So, I'm a genius, huh?"

    "If I say so. After all, I'm a genius, so if I say you're a genius, I must know what I'm talking about, right?"

    "Ahhhh! Brilliant!"

    "Of course it is! But why stop there? We're not only smart while they're stupid... we're good while they're evil! Hell, if we want to, we can convince most everybody that we're heroes and they're villains! We could even eventually be perceived as something... super-human! Only a fool would doubt it! After all, we've decided that the very definition of a fool is someone who disagrees with us! Think about that! Who could dare to disagree? Soon, everyone will be clamoring to follow us, begging us to take power, to save them from the things they fear, to lead them to a better, brighter future!"

    "So," interrupted yet another board member, "it will be that easy, will it?"

    "Well, only if we can take control of all of the means of spreading the message. We need all of our minions and the useful idiots who believe in our vision of the world to take over the media, the schools, and the arts. So we start encouraging them to pursue these careers as a means of changing the world! Who could resist? Once we have a majority of control, we start purging anyone in those fields who doesn't agree with us from their ranks!"

    "We also need to get absolute control of one of the two major political parties in every country," Charles continued, "of course, we have already made quite a great deal of progress on that front. America, with its rather annoying tendency toward individualism, will be a little more difficult nut to crack than the rest of the West, but with time, it too will fall under our spell. Then come the courts. After all, we need to make certain that they will uphold all of the unconstitutional crap we pass into law despite all of the quite obvious violations of the constitution!"

    Laughter shook the room.

    "I'm impressed, Charles," proclaimed Mr. S. "This may prove to be the most devious scheme in the history of mankind! Let us get to work!"


Cross-posted at IMAO in 2 Parts:

Part One

Part Two

"Half of What I Say Is Meaningless..."

As a public service, America is an Obamanation now presents, for those who may have missed it, the Democratic National Convention Keynote Address, as delivered by Obama Administration Spokeswoman, Julia...

"My fellow Democrats, distinguished delegates, and kindred spirits everywhere, good evening!"

"Clap! Clap! Clap!"

"Many people look at me and see someone who is one-dimensional and incapable of independent thought, and you know something, they are right... which is why I feel right at home in the modern day Democratic Party!"

"Yeah!"

"Thank you so much for wearing the 3-D glasses, I know that you're all just trying to make me feel better, but I am afraid that won't help the situation. I am proud to be one-dimensional, and will always remain one-dimensional!"

"You tell 'em!"

"That being said, let me get something off of my chest! I am fed up with all of the haters out there on the Right calling me a 'cartoon'! The word 'cartoon' is nothing short of hate speech, another Right-Wing racist dog-whistle meant to demean and belittle myself and other one-dimensional beings like me, and we are not going to let them call us by that awful, filthy, racist word anymore!"

"Gasp!"

"From this day forth, we will be known as Illustrated-Americans!"

"That's Right! And worst of all, the Republicans and their hateful, bigoted allies are hard at work right now trying to purge Illustrated-Americans from the voter registration rolls all over America, undoing years of hard work by ACORN, the SEIU, and other fine organizations who have attempted to give us a voice through others who could go into polling places all over America and cast ballots in the name of such great Illustrated-Americans as Mickey Mouse, Elmer Fudd or Homer Simpson! Don't such beloved figures deserve a voice in our elections? How dare they try to deny us our right to have people vote in our names multiple times in multiple precincts in important swing states and key Congressional Districts all over this great land! Make no mistake, voter ID laws are hateful bigotry against Illustrated-Americans, Deceased-Americans, Undocumented-Americans, and various other bizarre figments of people's imaginations and must be stamped out!"

"Yeah! You go, girl!"

"And another thing! What's all this crap I keep hearing about freedom meaning personal responsibility? As if! Why can't I enjoy the freedom to graduate with an advanced degree in something fun yet useless, like Gender Studies, never have to worry about paying back my student loans, and live at home with my Mom well into my 30s or 40s and have access to free universal healthcare, free birth control and free abortion services? I appreciate the fact that I have a President who doesn't want me to be punished for my mistakes with a little doodle or squiggle that I am unprepared and unwilling to care for! Mr. Ryan, I and many other young Americans consider it a privilege to spend our 20s sitting at home in their childhood bedroom staring at posters of such a wonderful and great man and would be more than happy to continue to do so for decades to come!"

"Yeah!"

"Let's face it, the Republicans are just a bunch of meanies and buzz-kills who don't think the richest among us can afford to pay a little more to take care of those of us who deserve more free goodies! I say, why can't they afford to pay more? After all, does Richie Rich really need another mountain of money to ski down? No! Does Scrooge McDuck really need another vault full of gold coins to dive into? I don't think so! And don't let them try to confuse you with all their fancy math that shows that even if we confiscated every last penny from the wealthiest Americans, we still couldn't afford the ever-increasing cost of ever-growing government because we simply don't want to hear it!"

"They keep telling us that we're drowning in red ink. Ha! As an Illustrated-American, I know a thing or two about red ink, and believe me when I tell you, it feels no different from black ink, blue ink or any other color of ink!"

"Hooray for red! ...Except when states turn that color on Election Night!"

"If math doesn't support our world view, then it is up to us to change how math works, because Heaven knows, our world view isn't going to change no matter how badly it conflicts with their nasty version of reality!"

"Their reality sucks!"

"Thank you, good night! And may Gaia deliver us from our Rethuglican enemies!!!"


Cross-posted at IMAO.

Disaster Contest at IMAO!

Think you can create a cooler photoshop than me?

Here's your chance to prove it!


********************

UPDATE 9/3/12 2:15PM CDT

The winners have now been posted!

There! I Fixed It for You!

The now former Yahoo! News Reporter David Chalian was fired after being caught saying about the Republicans, over an open mic, "They are happy to have a party with black people drowning."

I can rectify that statement for you, David, with a great deal of ease... and it would have been true... and nothing that would have gotten you fired!

Are you ready, David?

Next time, just leave off the word "drowning."

[Click to enlarge.]

From Top, Left to Right:

Condoleezza Rice: Former Secretary of State

Tim Scott: South Carolina Congressman

Mia Love: Saratoga Springs, Utah Mayor and Utah Congressional Candidate

Artur Davis: Former Alabama Congressman

Angela McGlowan: 2010 Mississippi Congressional Candidate

Star Parker: 2010 California Congressional Candidate

Herman Cain: Former Presidential Candidate (2012)

Ken Blackwell: Former Ohio Secretary of State and 2006 Ohio Gubernatorial Candidate

Michael Steele: Former RNC Chairman, Former Maryland Lt. Governor and 2006 Maryland Senate Candidate

Jennifer Carroll: Florida Lt. Governor

Randy Daniels: Former New York Secretary of State and 2006 New York Gubernatorial Candidate

Gary Franks: Former Connecticut Congressman

Allen West: Florida Congressman

J.C. Watts: Former Oklahoma Congressman

Lynn Swann: 2006 Pennsylvania Gubernatorial Candidate

Daniel Bongino: Maryland Senate Candidate

Michel Faulkner: 2010 New York Congressional Candidate

Peter Boulware: 2008 Florida State House Candidate

Ryan Frazier: 2010 Colorado Congressional Candidate

Keith Butler: 2006 Michigan Senate Candidate

And don't think that that is all there are. There are more. They are growing in number. And they are welcome!

*This post will not be not visible on MSNBC.

[Cross-posted at IMAO.]

Highway to Hell

Last Exit!
[Click on image to enlarge.]

Cross-Posted at IMAO

R.I.P. THIRDWAVEDAVE

Sad news. Long time friend of the blog, ThirdWaveDave, passed away this morning after a long illness. He will be missed. From Marathon Pundit's John Ruberry:

"This evening I have some very sad news for you. Dave Logan, better known as blogger ThirdWaveDave, passed away this morning at the age of 56 after a long struggle with chronic myelogenous leukemia.

...ThirdWaveDave was born in Urbana, Illinois and spent some time a bit further north in Kankakee before he did the most patriotic thing any American can do--he joined the military. He eventually settled in Folsom, California. Logan was a conservative, a tea partier, but of course most of all a patriot. Besides his blog, he was best known as the longtime producer of the Andrea Shea King Show on BlogTalkRadio."

And from Dave's close colleague Andrea Shea King at Radio Patriot:

“ThirdWaveDave” Dave Logan is now entered into the beauty of God’s Kingdom. He left us shortly after the medical team removed him from the life sustaining measures this morning. Blessedly, he did not linger longer than 30 minutes.

We will be planning a celebration of Dave’s life in the weeks ahead. Dave was not one to call a lot of attention to himself as many of you know. A private man, his final wishes were simple — Dave asked me to spread his ashes on the beach here in Cape Canaveral. It will be my honor and privilege."

Andrea had chronicled Dave's brave struggle for life in great detail just the other day. It's heart-wrenching, but well worth a read.

I met Dave (in the sense one meets Internet friends, as I never got the privilege of meeting him in person) many years ago around the time I first started blogging. He was one of my first regular readers and commenters at the old Right Place blog and we often both commented at some of the same places, like Pat Curley's Brainster's Blog and I, naturally, was a regular reader of Dave's blog as well.

As the months and years wore on, while I found myself spending less and less time online, Dave became the Producer of Andrea Shea King's program on BlogTalkRadio, which I managed to catch only a few times, always wishing it could have been more. In recent months, I have been following the updates from Andrea about Dave's deteriorating health and worrying that we would soon lose a true patriot and a fine man much too soon. Sadly, this morning, we did. My prayers and condolences go out to his family and friends in their time of grief.

So long, Dave. Rest well, for there are still those of us here who love this country and will carry on the fight to move her back to the right path, but we will surely miss you. God bless.

Little Known Facts About the Founding Fathers

George Washington's famous wooden teeth were actually carved from the very same cherry tree he couldn't lie to his Father about chopping down. Why did you think he chopped the damned thing down to begin with?

Benjamin Franklin, the inventor of the stove, bifocals and the Hundred Dollar Bill, did not discover electricity by flying his kite in a thunderstorm as legend would have you believe. He actually discovered static electricity when his kite stuck to the culottes he had just put on after removing them fresh from the clothes dryer.

Why did John Hancock sign his name so large on the Declaration of Independence? Because no one had invented shouting at the King by TYPING IN ALL CAPS ON THE INTERNET YET!!!

James Madison drafted the original version of the United States Constitution entirely in Pig Latin just to mess with everyone's minds: "Eway the Eoplepay..."

The Boston Tea Party, in which patriots protested unjust taxes by dressing up like Indians and tossing tea off of British ships in the middle of the night, took place in Boston Harbor on December 16, 1773. Not mentioned nearly as often in the history books is the concurrent Occupy Boston movement, in which a bunch of confused teenagers dressed up in tie-dyes and birkenstocks and sat around banging on drums while complaining that everything ought to be free and defecating in the public square.

John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both famously died on the same day, July 4th, 1826, exactly 50 years to the day from the signing of the Declaration of Independence. John Adams' famous last words were, "Thomas Jefferson still survives," though, ironically, word had not reached him that Jefferson had indeed passed a mere 5 hours earlier at Monticello after muttering, mysteriously, "Wrong again, John."

The reason so many of our Founding Fathers wore powdered wigs? They had been scalped by Elizabeth Warren's ancestors who liked to run around claiming to be Indians and scalping anyone who laughed at them.

Happy Independence Day!

Cross-posted at IMAO

The Fine Print

IMAO & AMERICA IS AN OBAMANATION EXCLUSIVE!!! Must credit IMAO & America is an Obamanation!

I have obtained, from a well-placed source, the copy of the United States Constitution used by Chief Justice John Roberts as a reference during the deliberations over the recent Obamacare ruling, and it explains everything!

All you need to do is to read the fine print. Do you see it? Down there at the bottom of the document?

Still don't see it, let me point it out. See it now?

Having trouble reading it? Okay, here, let's zoom in closer...

[Click to enlarge.]

It not only explains this latest ruling, it explains the entire Obama Presidency! Oh... and we're all screwed!!!

Cross-posted at IMAO.

No Sitting, Just Bull!

Cross-posted at IMAO

Man Bites Dog!

THIS brings a whole new meaning to that old commercial jingle:

♪ The dog kids love to bite! ♪



Cross-posted at IMAO

Because...

[Click on image to enlarge.]

Cross-posted at IMAO

A Limited Time Offer

Once again, it's that time of year. That magical time when the days shorten and get colder and we all wish each other a happy non-denominational celebration of your choice.

This year, why not give the gift that keeps on taking?

Presenting, "Occupy Santa Claus Lane"...



Featuring more wonderful seasonal songs that never once mention what's-his-name's supposed birthday, sung by the #OWS Glee Club. Like:

Occupy Santa Claus Lane

Twinkles Bells

The Little Drummer Circle

Violent Night

Also featuring some other wonderful new carols sung by many prominent progressive guest artists, such as these:

ROD BLAGOJEVICH:
Blago the Big-Haired Jailbird

JOE BIDEN:
God Love Ya, You Merry Taliban!

JON CORZINE:
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Larceny

ERIC HOLDER & THE ATF CHOIR:
Gun-Walking in a Border Wonderland

ANTHONY WEINER:
#Hacked! The Pantsless Congressman Tweets

And much, much more!

Best of all, you can just charge the cost of your purchase to somebody else! Order now!

And don't forget to check out our past favorites:

The First Nobel (2009)

A Solstice Carol (2010)

Cross-Posted at IMAO

If You Flip Plan 9-9-9 Upside Down...

[Click on image to enlarge.]

Cross-posted at IMAO

#OES

[Click on image to enlarge.]

Cross-posted at IMAO.

Somewhere in America, A New Draft is Being Written Even Now...

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

— John Hancock

New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

SOURCE