The SCOAMF Stratagem

Separated at Birth

Economically Clueless Connecticut Democrat Senate Candidate Dick Blumenthal

And Fire Marshall Bill

No One Respects the Obama Interrogation Policy

Our Chief Weapon is Surprise. That's It, Just Surprise.

*Rev. Right adds: Well, if surprise is ever deemed to be torture, there's always the "comfy chair!"

How Obama Sees the World

Remember when the left used to do this Reagan? Payback is a Hillary.

Click to Enlarge

Call Sign, Red Three

Props: Glenn Beck

Enjoy the Smell of My Farts, Old Man. For Soon, You Will Be Back in the Senate, Enacting My Agenda. Bwah Ha Ha Ha Ha!

At Least He's Holding the Right End This Time

1. "Yeah... um.... uh....uh... yeah, um... it's so big you ... uh... uh... you big stud. Can I ...uh.... uhh...uh... touch it?"

Captions of Metalgarth

"Yes, I am interested in saving money on my car insurance, very interested"

"Press one if you know the name of the conservative blogger you need re-educated, press two if you'd like to select a conservative bogger from a list"

"No Lenny... I meant it when I said I needed Friday for myself"

Election 2008 as 'Anchorman'

Barack Obama is the Ron Burgundy of politics; hopeless without a teleprompter, stuck on himself, a cardboard cutout propped up by people working behind the scenes.

Sarah Palin is Veronica Corningstone, a smart chick who threatens the male establishment. When SNL introduces her as “Tits McGee,” she calmly corrects, “I’m Sarah Palin. Tits McGee is on vacation.”

A debate between Palin and Obama might go something like this...

Sarah Palin: Mr. Obama, you are acting like a socialist.
B.H. Obama: I'm not a socialist, I am The One. I am a transformational figure.
Sarah Palin: You are not a transformational figure. You are a big fat joke.
B.H. Obama: I'm a man who uh... uh... uh... organized ... hold on a minute, let me think... uh... uh... organized the community and spread the ... uh... wealth around. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With ...uh ... uh... uh... a brain a third the size of us. It's science.
Sarah Palin: I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.
B.H. Obama: You are a ...uh ... uh... uh... smelly pirate hooker.
Sarah Palin: You look like an idiot.
B.H. Obama: Why don't you go back to your home on ... uh ... Whore Island?
Sarah Palin: Well, you have big floppy ears.
B.H. Obama: [insulted] What did you say?
Sarah Palin: I said... your ears... look stupid.

[an A-bomb mushroom cloud is reflected in Obama's eyes; the knock-down drag-out fight begins]

Joe Biden is, of course, Brick Tamland.

Ain'tcha Glad the Left Is Too Sophisticated for all that Silly Religious Hokum?

NRO

Il Douchebag

Moonbattery

A mere plumber thinks he should be allowed to earn $250,000? Why, only community organizers should be allowed to earn that kind of money!

Thank you, Thing

1. "Damn it! I dozed off in the senate and Hillary superglued my hand to my forehead."

2. "Obama wept" is the shortest verse in the Obama Testament. The following verse reads, "Because he just hated America so much."

3. "Hey, all is not lost! There's still some cocaine in my cuff!"

4. Rubbing tummy: FAIL!

5. "Hey, Barry, did you know if your hand is bigger than your face, you'll die of cancer?" Hilldawg pwns the dumb senator from Chicago once again.

Boy George's Disco Hymn to Obama

Forget Every Pride Parade you've ever seen.

Forget Folsom Street.

Forget Lance Bass. Forget George Michael.

Forget Olympic Ice-Dancing and Synchronized swimming.

This is the Gayest Thing in The History of The Universe

Downwind of Joe Biden Is Not A Good Place to Be

1. "By the Prophet, Michelle. You have to lay off the burritos."

2. "Wind, I command you to cease!" Obama begins to believe his own hype.

3. Biden wins the fart contest... again!

4. "Oh, crap, it's Louis Farakhan's mother ship! Just when I was winning!"

5. It always takes a second for the pressure to equalize once Obama sticks his head into a room.

Flowers for Algernobama

1. "Your offering pleases me. Your family will be spared in the purges to come."

2. "Another bounteous crop from the People's Sunflower Agricultural Collective #315. Thank you Comrade."

3. "This is from your mommy? Which one is your mommy...? The lady screaming and flashing her hoots is your mommy? Which one?"

4. "This isn't arugula!"

5. "You stupid cracker , I can't smoke this."

It's Twooo! It's Twooo!

Knowledge is Power

Caption Contest: Snow Job

Riehl World View on a tip from Nice Deb (Hi, Nice Deb :-))

1. "I'd be President Obama's cherry-lime snow cone any time," giggled Andrew Sullivan.

2. "It wasn't supposed to be a watermelon snow-cone, but anything Michelle touches immediately freezes to Absolute Zero."

3. By odd coincidence, the job of "Sno-Cone vendor" is also above his pay grade.

4. Famous Last Words: "You know what will loosen you up before the Saddleback debate? A nice sloe gin and absinthe sno-cone!"

5."See, I told you. If you shove a watermelon up your a$$, it comes back out through your mouth."

Hymn to an Obamassiah

H/T: Knowledge Is Power

Obamassiah Walking on the Water

1. A piercing whine awakened Andrew Sullivan from the Best Dream Ever. In a testosterone- fueled rage, he snapped the beagle's neck and went back to sleep. But, alas, the dream was gone.

2. Believing in his own hype, the Obamassiah attempts to become the first man to walk across the Atlantic Ocean.

3. Another semi-evolved, and fatally inexperienced, life-form emerges from the primordial ooze.

4. "This is not the Red Sea that I knew."

5. "No, Mr Sullivan, I'm not drowning and I definitely don't need mouth-to-mouth."

Barack's Brain Machine

The Weekly Standard

1. Obama gets Punk'd into wearing the Yarmulke of the Robot Jews.

2. "Now, every time you make a gaffe, you'll feel a small electric shock." Obama dies of electrocution while preparing for the debates.

3. That. Is. Why. I. Have. Decided. To. Withdraw. And. Support. Hillary.

4. The Obamassiah shows off a device he heard about on the internets he says will reduce oil imports by "147%." He's a little vague on the "how," but it's no dumber than his tire inflation idea.

5. The YearlyKos convention was happy to present Obama with their most advanced version of the "Mind Control Ray Deflector Beanie" to date.

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Ed. Note: Proudly featured in this week's OTB Caption Jam

Captions We Can Believe In

Photo: AoSHQ

1. "Now, Jar-Jar, in this next scene, you bring Anakin and Padme a big, steaming plate of space-waffles..." George Lucas was really starting to lose it.

2. "... and at night, my wife clings bitterly to my love-handles..."

3. "Well, that was a right pretty enough speech, but hope and change ain't gonna fertilize my corn crop... 'cept in a metaphorical sense."

P.S. I almost forgot, today is Obamamas... the most wonderful time of year. We should be singing Obamamas carols with our families a multi-cultural group of community activists. Later, we can hang tire gauges from the Obamamas tree and open our brightly wrapped packages of Hope and Change... which of course will turn out to be empty, but will nevertheless remind us of the True Meaning of Obamamas.