Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Family Values, OBAMA STYLE.

I have officially done the impossible: I have made Andrew Sullivan a heterosexual.

Yes, with my speech, which I wrote because I went to college which makes me so very smart you underestimating, ignorant crackers, I have utterly guaranteed my husband the White House this November.

Indeed, nothing suckers, uh, wins over the American people more than seeing a strong, independent woman declaring herself alongside her spawn, er, I mean daughters.

Oh, how I love Malia Ann. She just turned ten last month, her 43rd trimester, and Sasha is in her 31st. I believe I will keep them.

You see, America, we are just like you people, only we don't have guns, and our religion isn't exactly "legitimate". But rest assured, we are not the radicals you think we are. We are the way a family should be.

I know FOX News has nothing nice to say about us, but we won't let that stop us! We will win, and no woman will stop my attempt to overtake this racist, stupid country which hates my husband but will elect him anyway!!! Peace out, y'all! SOUTH SIDE, REPRESENT!!!

No comments: