Tuesday, September 2, 2008

We'll Get You, My Pretty... and Your Little Kids, Too!


Vero Posthumous my fellow travellers, it is I, your Dark Lord and Master --- He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! Kneel before your computers and tremble lest you incur my inexhaustable wrath!

I come before you today first and foremost to congratulate you on your fine efforts thus far in sliming that little Alaskan tramp who might single-handedly derail our efforts to see our wettest dreams come to fruition when we coronate our Marxist Brother King of the new U.S.S.R. (United States of Soviet Republics).

She is a threat and must be dealt with accordingly! Show her no mercy, and the same goes for her vile offspring and her simpering dolt of a mate! In the name of Hell and everything unholy, you must even seek and destroy anyone remotely associated with this family of vermin, even if they be little more than children! There can be no quarter given --- this I command!!! Eviscerate them all in glorious homage to me, me, MEEEEEE!!! Better yet, pretend I mean nothing and do it in the name of "The One"! (We must keep up appearances lest people begin to suspect something.)

And anyone among you who is growing even a small hint of a g*ddamned conscious, heed my warning and heed it well:

It doesn't matter if it's true or not. RUMOR IS TRUTH.

The modern laws of media hype and political warfare have a useful tenet:

Repeat ANYTHING or raise false concern over ANYTHING and it is likely to be planted in the conscious/subconscious of many voters.

If people start to think that there might be something fishy with Palin's last kid (if hers), then that's FINE. One more doubt (whether tied to reality or not) is another hesitation at the ballot box.

GET WITH THE PROGRAM PEOPLE. The "rising above it" bullshit has served us so well in the past, hasn't it?

If you have problems with the story, then STFU and get out of the way of Dems who are engaged in MODERN POLITICAL WARFARE.

Let's see... what else can we come up with? How about this: Trig is not the love child of Bristol and her father after all, he's really the result of the unholy union of Todd Palin and the family dog! It's a fact until they agree to DNA tests to prove otherwise!!!

Quick, call Alan Colmes and Keith Olbermann, keep the slime flying until Sarah Palin slinks off the public stage and cries herself into a quivering little puddle of mush! Blog my little poo-flinging monkeys! Blog, blog, blog!!!

Oh, yes... and don't forget that when it comes to any negative press on Our Messiah --- FIGHT THE SMEARS --- and destroy the messenger!

I have spoken, now go forth and spread more filth and lies! We have an election to win!

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