By unanimous vote, representatives from all major American media organizations unceremoniously stripped former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich of his Democrat party affiliation late Thursday following his removal from office by the Illinois State Senate on corruption charges.
The expulsion is immediate and retroactive and forbids any member of the journalism community from ever again identifying Rod Blagojevich as a Democrat on air or in print, under penalty of professional decertification and a wicked swirly in the men's john at an undisclosed highway rest stop.
"I think it goes without saying that we would like to forget he was ever mistakenly referred to as a member of our party," stated Libby Slater, spokesperson for the 'politically unaffiliated' Journalists Against Conservative Killjoys Allied in Support of Socialism (JACKASS). "In fact, we have issued an edict demanding that all evidence of such an unwelcome association be tracked down and stricken from the record. This includes all archived video, audio, print and electronic media references to Mr. Blagojevich over the last 20 years. Luckily, since this latest scandal began, hardly anybody's been mentioning his so-called party affiliation anyway, just out of precaution."
No word yet and whether or not they will take the cruel and unusual step of officially re-branding him a "Republican."
1 year ago